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Marriage (Or Any Relationship) During COVID19 Isolation

Dobak-1006

Things getting chippy? Married couples, you're spending a lot more time than usual with each other during this COVID19 time of isolation. As a result, you might be exprreincing more friction than usual. Accept this as a reminder for you. We hope this ministers to you and helps you navigate the day-to-day...

"For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures" - 1 Corinthians 15:3

Tim Keller said, “The Gospel shows us that we are more sinful and flawed than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

Our flawed and sinful nature leaves us alienated from God. No effort of ours would repair the damage, sooth the wrath, heal the brokenness, and release the chains of our self-chosen slavery. God did not choose between justice and love, but in one fell swoop He demonstrated both His astonishing love for us and His necessary justice, by taking on Himself the punishment due to us. Once we rest in this for ourselves by faith in Christ, it changes our relationships, especially marriage. The truth of our radical sinful nature humbles us. The truth of God’s radical love secures us. This new humility and security we have in Christ enables us to speak to each other about our flaws and sins and yet forgiving each other. Every incident of confrontation, confession/repentance, and forgiveness is painful yet leads to deeper wisdom, love, and joy in one another.

QUESTIONS TO ASK:

1.) Do you genuinely believe in both sides of the Gospel, both your radical sinfulness AND Gods radical love?

2.) After the confrontation happens, is there any one of those two important and necessary disciplines and fruits of faith - confession/repentance and forgiveness - you struggle with or are not practicing?

Many Christians struggle in their belief of both sides of the Gospel. For some it’s easy to accept their radical sinfulness, but hard to accept Gods radical love. For some it’s easy to accept Gods radical love, but hard to accept their radical sinfulness. We struggle to repent because we don’t truly believe the depth of our sin. We struggle to forgive because we don’t truly believe the depth of Gods love. Repentance and forgiveness REQUIRE BOTH deepening humility and a deepening sense of Gods love for you despite your sin. The catch is nobody is knocking both out of the park, and we never will in this life, it's God's way of keeping us dependent on Him. We all struggle with one more than the other or both all together! Identification is KEY!

Personally, I struggle the most with confession/repentence, admitting I am in the wrong to my wife. This is because I have deep-seated pride that God is still grinding away at. I genuinely believe that I am sinful and I genuinely believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins, but that acknowledgement of my sinfulness hasn't gone deep enough in light of God's lovr for me, and I need it to go deeper. It's painful but it will grow me in humility, and build me in wisdom and love. 

If you struggle with one or both of them and it is chipping away at your marriage, pray and ask God for faith if you don’t have it already. Then pray and ask God to cultivate a deepening sense in you of which one (your radical sinfulness or Gods radical love) you struggle with, start making hard decisions in your interactions, and trust God and His timing. The less we practice this and the less we are proactive in genuine confession/repentence, and genuine forgiveness, the more resentment that will build up and the more your relationship will slowly dissolve.

Blessings,
Pastor B.

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